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This blog makes liberal use of AB's journals, letters, travel notes, and other sources.

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Tuesday, 15 October 2013

On being loved

Tuesday, October 15th., Comarques, Thorpe-le-Soken.

Today I went through all first two books of cocotte novel, and fairly well pleased with everything except last chapter or so. I tabulated all my information and ideas afresh.

Some time ago, from Sharpe, a story of a girl with money, who was forbidden by her parents to marry a certain man. The latter afterwards became engaged to marry a poor girl. The rich girl bought lingerie for the poor girl, and generally looked after her trouseau, even to inserting blue ribbon into the neck of the bride's nightgown in order 'that she might look nice for him'. Finally the rich girl took a cab to the wedding.

When George, not loving Eva, is loved by Eva he finds her caresses and endearments nice but rather a bore. he finds them rather a tie. But when, by chance, Eva's manner becomes cold for a space, he resents (privately) the absence of warmth; he feels its loss and wants the warmth again. Note this. His attitude is fundamentally egotistic. He likes a creature to be absolutely wrapped up in him; he likes to be the centre of a creature's whole existence, but is always resenting the tie; always wanting to be both free and bound at the same time.

Additionally for October 15th., see 'A reader's burden' -

I have been extremely fond of reading since I was twenty, and since I was twenty I have read practically nothing ( save professionally as a literary critic) but what was "right". My leisure has been moderate, my desire strong and steady, my taste in selection certainly above the average, and yet in ten years I seem scarcely to have made an impression upon the intolerable multitude of volumes which "everyone is supposed to have read".

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