Clearing the air

Thursday, February 22nd., Cadogan Square, London.

Marie Belloc Lowndes came to tea this afternoon at my invitation. We have been friends for years, since I lived last in Paris, but recently she has caused me some problems and I wanted to 'clear the air' between us. I have done so.

Marie Belloc Lowndes

All to do with Marguerite of course. It seems that after we separated M. went to see Marie in some distress and asked her to write to me to reconsider. Which she did. It was evident from the letter that she had acted precipitately, with only one side of the story. I wrote back at once and gave her the relevant facts. In particular I made her aware of the affaire between Marguerite and Legros which she seemed not to have known the significance of. I made clear to her that my tolerance of M's aberrant behaviour had been considerable and my friends (and hers) had seriously reproached me for not acting sooner. When I did act I acted under the advice of the best people I know, and of my solicitor and hers. I gave her the alternative of a separation from me or a separation from Legros. I don't think I could have been fairer. 

Marie now understands my position and I have made it clear to her that there is no question of reconciliation. I am sometimes slow to take action but once I have acted I rarely, if ever, change my mind. I will certainly not be changing my mind in this case. I feel as if a weight has been lifted from me. Of course Marie, in her womanly way, pointed out how Marguerite had nursed me through illnesses, and had supported my career. I have never denied that she has sterling qualities. Nobody has ever heard me say anything against her. On the contrary to this day I am standing up for her against her own friends and mine. But it would be absolutely impossible for me to live with her again.

I think Marguerite may have hinted to Marie at problems of a sexual nature between us. Marie didn't say so directly but I got that sense. I think myself that the sexual aspect of a relationship is important and as a man of middle age I am not ready to deny my desires. And I see no reason to seek release outside of marriage. In fact Marguerite has until recently been as willing as myself in this respect though it may be that the 'favours' of a man 16 years her junior have had an effect. 

I am surprised that Marie has made some remarks on this subject in social circles without possession of the full facts. I thought she had more sense. Anyway I have told her that she was wrong and she has apologised, so that is done.