Going ahead

Monday, March 14th., Cadogan Square, London.

Lunch with Richmond Temple in a private room at the Savoy. Temple is a director and in charge of publicity for the hotel. I had asked him to the Reform, but he suggested the Savoy because we would be quieter. I wanted to get from him a few general ideas about hotel management here and on the continent, so that I could decide whether it would be practicable, artistically or otherwise, for me to write a 'big' novel with a hotel organism, or two hotel organisms, and probably a hotel manager as the hero. It is a project I have had in mind for some time and I feel I must do it soon, or never.

Temple has imagination and he abounds in ideas. A very cultivated man he has a wide circle of friends, some of whom are known to me. I wonder if he is a homosexual? He may be. Not that it matters. He told me that two or three years ago he 'gave' a car to Siegfried Sassoon to help him to "get more fresh air", which he did. What he didn't say, but which I knew from elsewhere (Wells, I think), was that Sassoon was depressed at the time having been 'chucked' by an American he was having an affair with. Temple is also friendly with Osbert Sitwell and has had something to do with the Savoy Orpheans. He told me lots more interesting things. I make no mention here of them. They are in my head only, and the impression they left is the only important thing to me.

In ninety minutes or less he gave me all the ideas I wanted, and I practically decided to write the book. In truth I had already decided to go ahead, but wanted somebody to tell me it was a good idea. Temple certainly did that. I think he will be disappointed if I don't get it done. A good meeting, but on balance I would rather we had not met in private. I didn't feel entirely comfortable.

Woman scorned?

Friday, September 26th., Cadogan Square, London

Lord Dewar made a speech at the anniversary of the Savoy Orpheans Jazz Orchestra on Wednesday night. It had a lot of wit. He said, for example "It is fortunate that our jazz bands only use blank cartridges."


Max Beaverbrook rang me up last night and said "Arnold, I want to tell you that the Daily Express has been offered a biography of you written by Mrs. A.B. They wanted to make it a condition that we should treat the offer as confidential, secret; but I absolutely refused to do any such thing. So I'm telling you. Our man has read it all through and likes it. Says he wouldn't mind anyone saying of him in his lifetime what is said of you in the book. If you have any objection I won't buy it; but if you haven't I'd like to."

I reasoned that if the Express or any other paper refused it, M. would put the refusal down to me, and would be accordingly resentful. She would never understand the awful bad taste of the whole thing, whether accurate or inaccurate, praising or blaming, etc. It is bound to be published somewhere; it is bound to make people think that I am partner in the bad taste. But if it is to be published I would sooner it be published by someone who is very friendly and who will take care that nothing offensive appears in it.

And today I have been to see my consultant about a long standing problem (it was diagnosed 5 years ago). I have been advised that although treatment is possible the side effects may be as bad as the condition itself, perhaps even worse. There is a good chance that there will be no deterioration and that I will die with the condition, not from it. The term used is "active surveillance" and it means I get checked out every few months to see if there has been any change. So far so good. Apparently a lot of men find it impossible to live with the uncertainty, and demand treatment as soon as possible. It doesn't seem to be bothering me, which I am pleased about. Perhaps my avowed stoicism has some basis after all! On the positive side I think that the knowledge that I have a potentially life threatening condition has made me appreciate the time I have more. I don't see life as a cumulative affair - the longer you live the "better"; what is important is how you live today.